June 4th, 2013. This date has always been special to us. When Matt and I got engaged in June 2004, we decided that June 4, 2005 would be our wedding date. My favorite number had always been 4 and we loved the month of June for a wedding. We ended up deciding to postpone our wedding a year because it was harder than we thought for Matt to find a job with his business degree around Valdosta...and I still had classes left to take. Of course as soon as we decided to do that, he got a job in Thomasville. :) However it really worked out perfectly, and we got married on June 24, 2006 instead. As soon as Dr. McCollum told me that she wanted to induce me on June 4th I couldn't wait to tell Matt. He thought for sure that the date was ordained by God, and that it was always meant to be special to us....just in a different way than we originally thought. It was going to be the birthday of our baby girl, our long awaited miracle! :) Turns out he was right!
My alarm went off at 5:30 am on June 4th! Matt and I got up and ready and were waiting on our nurse to come get us at 7. My former support teacher, Mrs. Sharon works the night shift at the hospital and she came up to visit as soon as her shift was over. We laughed at me wearing my gold Jack Rogers with my hospital gown. And of course I had on my pearls for my June baby! They were sort of like a "push present", Matt bought them for me and I definitely pushed my heart out while wearing them!! Haha! I'm actually getting a special piece of jewelry that will be passed down to Molly Caroline one day as my actual push present. :) A few minutes later, Kacey, a nurse that also knew that I was a HNH teacher came and got us and we walked over to Labor and Delivery. I literally walked right into the delivery room that my baby would be born in. We had my pillows with us and a bag of gum, pony tail holders, make up wipes, and other things like that.
Kacey was the third or fourth nurse since we checked in that told me that I would probably want the epidural right away, because Dr. McCollum was known for being AGGRESSIVE with the Pitocin. Why didn't I know this beforehand? My sweet little Dr. that apparently gets it done in the delivery room with no mercy. :) However, she told me that she had all 3 of her children naturally and thought that I could do it too. She got my IV hooked up and got me all set up and comfortable. She also hooked me up to monitors to keep track of MC's heart rate and my contractions. Then Dr. McCollum came in and checked to see how much I had dilated. I was at a 4. She then broke my water and told me that she would be back to check on me after she finished an emergency surgery...but if I needed her that someone would come get her. :) Love her!
It was all fun and games for awhile. Then my nurse started the Pitocin. Aggressively! It was like we were having a party in my delivery room. My mom and dad were there. Carrie Beth came with birthday cake cupcakes from Smallcakes and also Chick fil a for Matt. My friend, Gini, showed up to hang out too! She had her latte and was super supportive! I loved it! Until I started feeling sick and shaking again. Apparently that is what medium contractions do to me. They make me feel sick. They don't really hurt...just make me feel nauseated and shaky. I decided that I was uncomfortable enough. I wanted to enjoy my labor and delivery and I wanted the epidural. Kacey said it would be possibly 2 hours before the anesthesiologist got around to me, since he was making his morning rounds but she could get Dr. McCollum's permission to give me something via IV until he got there. I decided to tough it out and wait on the anesthesiologist. I loved talking to everybody in between contractions. But when they came I would just hold on to the railing of the bed, curl my toes, and be completely quiet. Oh my they didn't feel good! I was relieved when Kacey said everyone needed to leave the room and wheeled a cart in because I knew it was time to get the epidural!
Well y'all, long story short. He tried for about 40 minutes and stuck me 7 or 8 times with the needle and then would try to thread it in probably 20 or so more times. He kept hitting bone. He couldn't find any space in my back bone. I was leaning over my bed, hugging a pillow, holding on to my nurse, with my feet propped up on a stool to keep my legs from shaking so much during contractions. This is when I knew in my heart that this labor and delivery was not going to go as I planned. :) We took a short break so I could breathe through a contraction, I pulled up my hair in a pony tail on the top of my head, and I just looked over at Matt who looked absolutely sick. It was scary trying over and over when I was shaking so uncontrollably. We decided that the anesthesiologist would get the head of the department and he would come back and try. Since I was unhooked from the IV, I went to the bathroom and just sat in there and cried for a few minutes. Matt came in and was so encouraging and sweet. Of course that made me cry harder, so I just told him to stop saying nice things to me. I pulled myself together and went back out to my bed. My nurse thought that I looked teary and said that she would stop the Pitocin until the head anesthesiologist gave me the epidural. She was getting ready for me to sit up and wait for them to try again when she got a phone call from him saying that he wasn't going to try anymore. So basically, I found out that I would not be getting an epidural. I didn't cry or really say anything. I was just wondering how I was going to make it for who knows how long feeling this much pain. It was awful at this point. I told my nurse that nobody could come back in the room. I was in too much pain and didn't know how to even act, let alone talk with the people that I love. I looked at Matt and said, "Text everyone. Tell them I need prayer."
Dr. McCollum came back around this time and check me. I think I was only at a 5. This was probably around 11am. She sat down with me on the side of the bed and was so amazing. She actually offered to do a c-section. She said that she knew I didn't plan to have the baby naturally and to let her know what I wanted her to do. Of course she went over the risks and told me how it was major surgery, etc. In my mind, I wanted that c-section. Yes, I knew the recovery would be bad, but I wanted the pain gone right then. I couldn't imagine laboring all day with no end in sight. The only thing making me hold back was that I would have to be put to sleep since the epidural wouldn't work and Matt couldn't even be in there to see her being delivered. I said to give me an hour to think about it. She said that as long as I wasn't at a 9 she could do it. Y'all I was playing some serious mind games at this point.
Also, there was this emergency exit door right by the bed that I was in and it opened up near the elevators and waiting room. My family and friends could stand at the door and hear basically everything going on in the room. Nice, huh? Somehow my dad snuck into the room to convince me not to have surgery. Everyone was eating lunch down at the cafe and they all wanted me to tough it out. Easy for them to say!! Haha! :) Matt and I talked about it in between contractions. I also talked to my nurse about it who was just an amazing coach and support. However we never really came to a conclusion.
At this point the pain was getting hard to manage because the contractions were pretty close together and they went from being medium to HARD. I just kept alternating sides (I couldn't get up or move much because I had to be monitored because of the Pitocin) and Kacey called Dr. McCollum back in to put internal monitors in. Kacey checked me and said she thought I was almost at a 6 and Dr. McCollum confirmed that. It actually felt good to be checked. Weird I know but it was like a ray of hope and somehow relieving. Dr. McCollum estimated that I'd be in labor for another 4 hours and then could have to push for 2 hours. It was around 1:30pm at this point and my nurse even thought that she might be off before I delivered. Y'all I wanted that c-section. I still don't know how I wasn't being wheeled up to surgery. I wasn't screaming or yelling in pain. I didn't say any bad words but I tell you that pain made me feel crazy. I kept saying that. How I couldn't take the pain because there was no way to deal with it or make it better. I would just hold my breath. I didn't want to be all sweaty and delirious in labor. I wanted to be pretty and having fun talking with everyone...haha! Kacey said that it was supposed to hurt really bad because I was going to push a watermelon out of my behind! Haha! Matt and I won't ever look at a watermelon the same way again. :) I was kind of mean to Matt though. I didn't want him to touch me or say anything nice. I just wanted him to be right by my side and I wanted to know when the contractions were going away each time. Poor guy! He cried seeing me in so much pain. I kept saying he was acting funny, and he later told me that he didn't know how to act seeing me hurt so bad. I love him so much!
I don't know how but I knocked the internal monitors out and by then I think I officially wore my nurse out. Her hair was up in a ponytail too and she told me that I had to start breathing right. She was very firm and sort of got in my face in a nice way. She told me that she was going to breathe with me because right now Molly Caroline was fine, but soon my holding my breath would start to cause her stress. Y'all I did it. I started breathing through the contractions the right way...Matt eventually took over guiding me through it...but breathing does not work. You do not feel better. Kacey checked me and said that the good news was that I was at an 8! I kind of knew then that I wouldn't be having a c-section. They started turning on the lights and setting out supplies. They got my bed set up for me to start pushing. I swear I was in and out of consciousness at this point. I would be hurting so badly, then almost pass out..or feel like it. By the time Dr. McCollum came in I was at a 9. I immediately told her how sorry I was that I was so gross and so whiny about the pain. It was like sometimes I would be my regular easy going self, and then the pain would get so bad I felt like a completely different person. Thankfully I didn't act out too much! That would have been even more embarassing! I guess my body just knew what to do because I started pushing through the contractions before they even told me too. I glanced at the monitor and noticed that they were sky high, at 100, with no breaks between.
All I really remember about pushing is that finally the contractions didn't hurt anymore. I could just push through the pain. I had two nurses holding my legs (of course I taught one of their kids), Matt by my side, a nurse that was going to clean up Molly Caroline, and my amazing Doctor. In that moment I thought about how people said when it was time to deliver that I wouldn't care which Dr. delivered my baby. Well y'all they were wrong. Even after intense pain and in that moment..I still cared and was so glad that I stuck to what I wanted. And that my Dr. was so sweet and agreed to be there for me no matter what. I started pushing for real around 3:30. Dr. McCollum kept telling me to "push, push, push" and that she was so proud of me. I loved pushing and was good at it! Haha! They would tell me to rest in between contractions and I would say, "I can still push". I remember her seeing her head, and telling Matt to come and look. I remember they kept telling me one more big push, and I think I they said that 3 times though. Molly Caroline was born at 3:54pm! Matt cut the cord and they basically put her right on me. We were in awe that she was so healthy! She was pink and beautiful! The first thing I asked was if she was still a girl! They tried to take her off me, but Dr. McCollum told them to put her back while she stitched me up. They were surprised but she was delivered posterier and I had a 2nd degree laceration. I did feel burning when I tore and I felt my Dr stitching me up. But y'all, nothing compares to the pain of those contractions. I am so thankful that I started progressing quickly near the end. I would do it all over again to have my sweet girl here safe and sound. Matt and I couldn't stop staring at our precious baby girl! Dr. McCollum told me she would come back and see me in a day or two and that she was so proud of me and glad that I didn't have surgery.
They cleaned MC up a little bit and then let us have lots of skin on skin time. They showed me how to nurse. Then they let all of our family and friends come in and meet our bundle of joy!! After that they took Molly Caroline over to the nursery to get weighed, measured, cleaned, etc. Matt went with her to get pictures. I was able to walk immediately without assistance to the bathroom. My nurse said, "After our long day, all modesty is out the window, ok?" LOL. She had two student nurses with her and they cleaned me up and wheeled me over to Mother/Baby. I got to see Molly Caroline in the nursery as well as some other nurse friends that were taking care of her. Then they got me situated in my room and brought me my baby!! I pulled down my hair which was way curly after labor and touched up my make-up. Then the celebrating began! My parents ordered Paulie's pizza and I had a Tervis of water and a BIG diet coke. I hadn't had anything to eat or drink in almost 24 hours. We had birthday cake cupcakes too! It was the best night ever!!! I was in zero pain afterwards too! So, I guess I'm thankful that I had her naturally, after all.
The next few days were a blur. We had tons of visitors and were running on adrenaline. We didn't get any sleep in the hospital because they would bring MC to us to be nursed every few hours. We would chat with our favorite nurses any chance that we got. And when we were finally alone we would look at pictures of Molly Caroline and just talk non-stop about everything going on!!! And it was the rainiest hospital stay ever. We loved it!! They took such great care of us and Molly Caroline!!! We are so grateful to them!
Some side notes that I found out later:
All of the nurses were watching my contractions on the big screen at the nurses station during my labor and delivery. They said they were huge ones and so close together, they couldn't believe I was having to do it naturally. So apparently I wasn't such a big baby, they were really bad!!
Somehow everyone knew me as the girl thats epidural didn't work!! Haha!
My Dr. went back to Shaw center and told everyone how proud she was and how calm and well I took everything. She was amazed. Ok, maybe I am a princess! :)
Most of our nurses came to visit us and MC before we left the hospital. The one that was in the room for delivery said that she loved seeing Matt and I work together. She said that she could tell we were a team and that it is rare to see these days. So sweet!
Everyone loved my giant pink wreath that I had on the door. I truthfully thought they were the most common thing in the world to bring to the hospital.
I was so glad that we gave out gifts to our nurses. They were so helpful and amazing. Matt and I both agree that they deserve more and we are going to surprise the ones that helped us the most with gift cards in the near future.
My Dr. told me that once when she walked in I told her that I had been yelling at Matt. She thought that was so funny, because that really isn't like me! I tell you, that pain brings out the worst in people! :) She said she knew it had to be so painful and doesn't know how I did it. She said she would've been wheeled up to surgery immediately. :)
My Dr. also said that at one point my nurse ran out to find her and said, "she's already pushing, I don't think I can contain her!" Haha!
Y'all we feel so blessed. We are trying our best to cherish each moment and soak up every little thing with Molly Caroline.
