2012

Every year I try to think of a song and a verse that describes the year or one that has truly helped me grow or been uplifting to my soul. I didn't start listening to this song until April when it was released....but since then we have faced some difficult circumstances. In my head, this was my song. I hope it was/is evident in my life. Through this song I was reminded that it doesn't matter how much I do or what others think of me...all that matters is who I am in Him. I want everything in my life to be, "For Your Splendor, LORD!" I play it so often that I bet even Blakely knows all the words to it! Haha! I love it! I have it written on a chalkboard right over my night stand. It is For Your Splendor by Christy Nockels.


And on the banks, on both sides of the river, there will grow all kinds of trees for food. Their leaves will not wither, nor their fruit fail, but they will bear fresh fruit every month, because the water for them flows from the sanctuary. Their fruit will be for food, and their leaves for healing. Ezekiel 47:12

New Year, New Rug, New Paint

We've been making some little changes around our house and you know that makes me happy!! Just in time for the new year!

First, here is my little kitchen project complete. My favorite thing about chalkboards is looking for verses to put on them! I love our home to filled with scripture! If I ever get tired of chalkboards I'll just put the glass back in the frames.

We got a rug for our dining room. I LOVE it! We've seriously been looking for years. I wanted it to have burnt orange, light blue, and some brown in it. I also wanted it to look traditional. And I didn't want to pay a lot for it. We had some Christmas money from Matt's grandma...and that is what we bought it with. I think we got it for a steal! It actually has green in it too which I didn't know if I loved but once we got it in the room I realized that it kind of pulled some little green details in the room together.

Our mudroom is taped off and ready to be painted. I've been all about light blue for a while but coudn't decide on the perfect shade. I am sort of a stickler about only using Benjamin Moore's historical colors, so when I saw Wyeth Blue I knew it was perfection.

When we decide what color we're painting the ceiling in the nursery we'll paint the guest bathroom in a historical color that compliments both the nursery and the guest room on that side of the house.

Pictures of pretty painted rooms coming soon! :)

Everything should be monogrammed.

I used to be all about monograms. In college and right after I got married, everything I owned got monogrammed in some sense. :) Jewelry, hats, clothing, linens, candles, cups, notebooks, scarves, coasters, platters, ornaments, shoes (yes I had a pair of monogrammed Nike's in college), baskets, totes, purses, robes, towels, flip flops, rugs, luggage, aprons, and the list goes on and on. :) I sported this on my wedding day while I was getting ready.

And my wedding dress was even monogrammed. The bow was monogrammed in white so it was really subtle...but it was there!!! I also had to beg to get a monogram put on my cake. It wasn't popular then and no one wanted to do it. They eventually gave in. :)

Gradually as it became more and more popular, I kind of stayed away from the trend.

However, in the last year I've jumped right back on the bandwagon. And this holiday season I've gotten some of the sweetest monogrammed gifts. I love them! I can't wait to order things with Baby W's monogram soon!!!! The other day, Matt mentioned that he might like to have his iPad case monogrammed in a "manly" font, like his luggage. :) Haha! I love it!

My white kick...

Yesterday, I decided to take down all the colorful plates and platters in my kitchen. I also wanted EVERYTHING off of the counters and fridge. In my mind, I see frilly white plates, platters, and pitchers...but I had to make do with what I already had. So, I got down my white dishes and bowls and got to work. I did leave a few pops of color in the breakfast nook. :)

I will be finishing a new chalkboard project tonight, using some frames that I dug out of our garage. I bought them for a nickel each at Bargain Bazaar a few years ago, spray painted them white, and then never found a place for them. I'm going to add some more greenery and a few white pieces here and there as I find them. I already like it better.

And just look at what my friend Carrie Beth texted me last night. EXACTLY my thinking!

First Trimester and a few extra weeks!

So, I kept a few notes about each week of pregnancy on my phone. Pretty much a summary of highlights, cravings, and events from each. I may start doing weekly updates...maybe every few weeks. We will see. :)

I am so thankful to be past the first trimester. Overall, I felt great the entire time. I had some waves of nausea here and there (I taught with a trash can beside me a few mornings :) and definitely became a whole lot pickier about what I ate...apples are still my best friend...and I really don't like meat). I started going to bed a lot earlier around week 7 or 8. I mean like 6:30 early most nights. :) Overall my symptoms were the same as the first time I was pregnant, which obviously made me a little nervous.

4 Weeks
I took 10 positive tests!!! Happy tears. Lots of prayer. Made the first call to the Shaw Center. Bought baby jacket outfits.

5 Weeks
Celebrated at Shaw. Set first appointment. So much bloodwork! Worth it!!!

6 Weeks
Christy Nockels concert! (Baby Whelan's very first concert...how fitting!) Celebrated my brother's wedding and kept our sweet, yet hard secret to ourselves so the weekend could be all about them!!

7 Weeks
Heard the heart beat for the first time and told my parents!!! I didn't know it, but my dad then told every single person in my extended family. They kept it a secret until I figured it out at almost 12 weeks. I guess he's a proud grandpa. :)

8 Weeks
Halloween week is when I started getting super tired early at night!

9 Weeks
Heard the heart beat again! (Baby Whelan went to its second concert, Chris Tomlin)

10 Weeks
Got my flu shot! Craving Christmas decorations? :) and Christmas tree cakes (Someone at lunch was eating one and I felt like I had to have one. I also began craving pears.

11 Weeks
Decorated for Christmas. Told Matt's family our news. Celebrated Thanksgiving and took Baby Whelan to PCC for the first time...ha! I started craving apples the day after Thanksgiving. All I wanted for every meal was an apple. On the way home from Atlanta we had to stop at a grocery store so I could have an apple.

12 Weeks
Best moment this week was spending a rainy weekend at home in my pj's looking at Christmas lights and relaxing. The holiday season is so busy!

13 Weeks
A great Dr's appointment! Baby W is the size of a Georgia Peach! Yay! Week 13 is a milestone! Spilled the beans to my co-workers and our neighbors! Matty took me to hear Christy Nockels. Baby Whelan already loves her music, I just know it! :) Haha!

14 Weeks
Officially announced our pregnancy to the blog world and facebook along with my best friend, Bex (who needs to start blogging again). She was the maid of honor in my wedding and her due date is 4 days after mine. :)I turned the big 3-0 and ate my words "I'll never be an old mom." I will say that I would've liked to become a mom a year or two earlier, but it seems like a pretty great time to become one and I know His timing is perfect. I got the best reaction from a sweet friend, Carmen, at Victorian Christmas. We also confirmed our childcare!!! Whew..we are thrilled! What a relief!

15 Weeks
Spent Christmas with my family! Still craving apples, organge juice, and now strawberries! Nailed down some nursery ideas. We made a list and are beginning to pace ourselves on things that need to get done or need to be bought before the baby arrives. I also had my first head ache this week. :(

16 Weeks
I don't know if I'm nesting or if I just get like this at the end of every year but I want everything perfectly clean and organized. I also want everything around me to be white.

Ok. I think I'm caught up for now!

Best appointment yet!

12-5-12 Strangely enough we didn't even get to see our baby at this appointment, but we did hear the heart beat!

I loved my 13 week appointment. As always I went in anxious. My Dr. calmed my fears and we talked awhile about some questions I had and some things that I had seen on my chart that concerned me. Yes, I am the patient that reads every bit of information that gets emailed and mailed to me, and she knows this! She also knows that research soothes me and gives me some each time I go. :)

She was able to find the heart beat right away on the Doppler. Yay! It sounded good and was 167 this time. I laughed in relief and the machine went crazy. So then we both laughed and she said, "Isn't this so exciting!?" Even though I would've loved an ultrasound and am beyond grateful for all the extra care they give me, it felt good to be a normal patient at a normal appointment.

Dr. McCollum gives me all the time in the world and we usually end up chatting about our lives for at least 30 minutes...our ages, kids names, infertility, tv shows, fashion. You name it! I love her!

When I got back to work after my appointment my principal called me in her office and said that she was announcing our news to the school since everything went so well at my appointment. She was having a hard time keeping it a secret! She is precious and would ask me everyday when she could start telling people. She told the teacher beside me about a year ago that she wasn't announcing anyone elses pregnancy until I got pregnant because it just wasn't fair! :) Both my principal and assistant principal knew from the start and were extremely supportive and confidential. I love them both. The only other people that knew at school at this point were my curriculum writing group which are just two other teachers. They figured it out on their own because we spend so much time together mapping out and rewriting our curriculum and were sweet encouragers and a safe place for me to talk freely about everything. My inclusion teacher, Michele, knew because we work together so closely everyday. She always made sure I was feeling up to teaching and did extra things around the classroom to help out. And the gifted teacher at my school, who is also the wife of our Sunday School teacher, knew early on. She always checked on me and I appreciated that so much! I had to scramble to tell a few of my other closest teaching buddies before they got the mass e-mail. It was fun getting to (and being forced to) finally share my news! If it had been up to me I would've probably waited even longer. It was a joyous day!

My school family is so, so special to me. The office staff was pumped. All day long I got buzzes from the office to pick up the phone and different people would congratulate me. They said they were talking recently about how they were hoping I would have a baby soon. :)

One fellow teacher told me that she figured out what happened last year and has been praying for me every single day since. She cried telling me. Which made me cry. :)

Another teacher told me that her daughter said that I was too young to have a baby. Then that night at dinner she said the blessing and prayed for me and my baby at the dinner table. Oh my heart!!!

So many people went out of their way to come to my room and hug me and congratulate me. It was really special!

Bursting!!!

11-8-12. My heart is just bursting with joy as I am sitting down to write this. And I want to cry so bad...happy tears that is!

I had my second Dr's apointment today with my precious Dr. who is is by far the best one ever. She's amazing. I was so nervous...just because of my history, but love getting to catch up with her. She was seriusly cracking me up (trying to make me feel comfortable) and I love her for that! She thought it would be too early to hear the heartbeat on the dopplar, but wanted to try anyway. She kept reminding me that she rarely hears it that early and not to worry. I was SO calm. She thought she could faintly hear it, but wouldn't say for sure. She asked me if I would worry if we didn't do an ultrasound. Then before I could answer, she said, yes, you will and I will too. Let me squeeze you in right now. A minute later she was like ok...come now, but it's with the tech you don't like. Haha! She knows me too well!

So, it was completely spur of the moment, but I got to hear our baby's heartbeat. The heart rate was 177 this time. I could really tell how much it had grown in only 2 weeks. So amazing! Unfortunately, that tech really doesn't print you pictures. :( But the image is etched in my brain!!

I am sad that I will have to wait a little over 3 weeks until the next one! But I am so thankful for how pro-active they are at Shaw!! I've very thankful.

A surprising phone call!

10-25-12. I was at work just going about my business when my Dr's care coordinater called me and said that my bloodwork was looking great and everything was doubling as it should, so Dr. McCollum wanted me to have an ultrasound immediately. At first I was taken over with fear. This is what I thought, "Immediately...that seems like a scary word. What is wrong?" But then, she assured me that they just wanted to give me an early ultrasound and then another one in two weeks, then three...and so on. I was so thankful and excited because I didn't think I was going to have one until almost 9 weeks because that was the first "scheduled" appointment I had with my Dr. So, the phone call was a little blessing. Although leading up to the actual first ultrasound I experienced some pretty terrifing thoughts and my emotions were all over the place. It would be the first time I had an ultrasound since there was no heartbeat last May. I didn't want to go back in the room without my Dr. with me. I wanted Matt to come to hear our baby's heart beat IF everything was ok. I didn't want him to come just in case everything wasn't ok. I am so much stronger without him there. I can pretty much hold myself together if Matt or Dr. McCollum aren't around. I was excited too though! And hopeful! Just scared out of my mind. You can see...I went back and forth right up until I walked in. I was extremely blessed by 4 friends that knew that I was pregnant for sending me messages at the exact moment that I was driving up to my appointment. Seriously. They were messages of comfort, prayer, and encouraging words. Those words really lifted me up in that moment.

My appointment was after school and Matt met me at the office. He wasn't going to let me talk him out of missing my appointment. Y'all we had the sweetest tech. One that I never had last time...which was a relief. She was really great and so thoughtful. We heard that glorious sound...the best one in the world. Our baby's heart beating strong for so early. I was 6 weeks and the heart rate was 137. She wrote different sayings on the pictures and printed us out different ones. She was just so informative and really changed my ultrasound experience because of her sweet personality, thorough explanations about everything, and kind heart. We were both pleased!

We were so grateful that our baby was growing well so far. We had to stay in the little ultrasound room for a little and bit and get ourselves together. For me I had to wipe the tears away, and Matt had to wipe the grin off of his face. Haha! We knew we would most likely see some people that we knew in the waiting room and we were still keeping our news a secret! What a sweet memory!

It's confirmed!!!

10-11-12. It is such a happy day! I got up early and had on my "appointment dress", I was excited, yet a little bit nervous about my appointment at the Shaw Center. It was just my initial visit, so I knew that would involve bloodwork and a meeting with a "new OB" nurse. I didn't even know what nurse I would see. I hoped that I would see Dr. McCollum, because I couldn't wait to tell her the news! I also didn't expect to, since it wasn't a scheduled Dr's visit. I am proud at how patient I've been, since I've known for over a week.

We started with bloodwork to confirm the pregnancy. It was a totally different experience than last time. In March, they got blood relatively easily, my due date was confirmed, and I got to keep the test. Not this time. I have the worst veins. I specifically drank two glasses of water before I went, but obviously that didn't do anything. I got stuck about 6 times. All OVER. I think 5 different nurses tried to get my blood. I kept saying, "please just get some" over and over. Ha! I wanted a confirmation!

Finally, we got enough blood to do a pregnancy test, but nothing else. I was told to wait outside the lab and Ashley would come and get me if I was pregnant. No pressure. :) A nurse that had seen me several times around my miscarriage walked by and was sooo sweet. She asked if a congratulations was in order? I told her "hopefully"!! A minute later, Ashley came out and got me and took me to her office! Several nurses that have been with me down this pretty long road started cheering in the hallway and saying "congrats"! It was an amazing feeling to know how much support I have at Shaw. :) It took all I had to hold back the tears!

We met for awhile and went over everything. It was a little strange that this is considered my second pregnancy, but I don't have a baby from the first one. I got lots of goodies and asked all the questions that I had...mainly ones about the flu shot and a Rhogam shot. Ashley went to schedule my next appointment and first ultrasound (they want to do one as early as they can because of my history) with Dr. McCollum. She came back in and said that she had a surprise for me. MY PRECIOUS Doctor! She heard the news through the grapevine and HAD to come down and see me! After hugs, congrats, and tears she began treating me like her patient. :) She ordered MORE BLOODWORK to test my progesterone, just in case. And a few other precautions. I am beyond thankful.

So, back to the lab I went. 3 or 4 more tries and no blood later, we determined that I was dehydrated. I have another appointment tomorrow. I was at Shaw for almost 2 and 1/2 hours. Haha! A few nurses came by and couldn't believe I was still there! Another nurse came in and asked my due date....which by the way is JUNE 12th!!!! I am 5 weeks and 1 day today. So many caring, kind, Shaw staff told me that they were excited for me, etc. It was hard for me to keep it together!

I got in my car, called Matt, and the floodgates opened! I am just so happy and thankful! I wished he was in town so we could have celebrated by going to lunch, but he was in Albany. However, we are most definitely celebrating when he gets home tonight! All for the Glory of God!!!

Update 10-12-12
I went back to Shaw bright and early the next morning and got stuck approximately 8 times. A lot of veins were re-stuck. I am not kidding when I say that EVERY single nurse in the entire practice tried to stick me. Finally, they had one really oooollldd lady in that only works on Friday's try. She slaps you really hard. They said if she couldn't get my blood, I was going to have to go to Archbold (the hospital) to the IV center. NO THANK YOU! I begged them to keep me at Shaw. I love the people at Shaw and feel completely comfortable there. Luckily, getting stuck doesn't bother me. I actually enjoy being there. Well, they finally got just barely enough. And I was told that I would need to come back every 2 to 3 days to check my quant and progesterone. My arms ended up being very bruised up all up and down them for the month of October. :) But it was totally worth it!! This picture was taken after my last time having to get blood drawn! I was a happy girl and my bruises were all about faded!

Finding Out...

We found out our news for sure on Friday, October 5th!!!!

But first I want to share a little bit of background information...

January 25, 2013. My big appointment was scheduled in July for January 25, 2013. At that appointment we would begin fertility treatments. IUI was first on the list. It was all set up. Time for my body to heal, time for my mind to prepare for what we would endure. (And my Dr. will tell you, even though we struggled to get pregnant, every test done came back fine, and my fertility monitor proved that my hormones and cycle lengths were just as they should be...so she still thought that it could happen for us without treatment. She actually really believed it would. I just didn't know what to think. All I could do was pray.) I was fine waiting for this short time. It seemed like nothing compared to the past year or two, and I was just thankful to have a new plan. I looked at the time as a time for us to grow spiritually and a time to do some things that we coudn't do if we had a baby. We took two beach trips during this time. :)

In early September, at a Women's retreat, I realized that I needed to surrender having a baby completely. I had before, but I just felt led to do it again, right then, because it was such a daily struggle for me. I felt such a peace afterwards. But then lo and behold about 3 weeks later random people at work started coming up to me and asking "Have you been back to the Dr? When is your next appointment? Can you go back sooner?" I felt kind of pressured and then one night didn't feel good about waiting anymore. I wanted to call Dr. McCollum up that instant and beg her to move up my appointment to October. Luckily, I talked some sense into myself and felt God's peace again...about our decision and about waiting.

10-3-12. The very next day I decided to take a pregnancy test (a cheap one at night). The odds were already against me...but that is what I do. I really used to be addicted to taking pregnancy tests. I would take two a day for weeks. We spent a lot of money on them and eventually switched to Dollar Store brand. I got better the second time around and I wasn't as obsessive. Until 10-3-12 when I couldn't wait until the morning to get a more accurate reading. I sort of thought I saw a shadow of a line. I brought the test to Matt and we analyzed it (so much for a big surprise this time...I just needed another pair of eyes to look with me). We felt a tiny bit of joy, but really just figured we weren't seeing anything. I think we were both trying not to get our hopes up. I also had some digital tests at home, but refused to take one yet. I didn't want to see "not pregnant" again.

10-4-12. I took a test both morning and night. The lines didn't really seem to be getting any darker, but I still thought I sort of saw something each time. It was killing Matt that I still wouldn't take a better test.

10-5-12. I woke up at 5:00am and was ready to take a "real" test. The house was pitch black and Matt was still asleep. I took the test, and just waited for it to change. In the past I would always set it down, go about getting ready, and then check back eventually because it was always...always negative. I think my heart stopped when the words PREGNANT showed up! It is strange how calm I felt this time. I knew that everything "seemed" perfect this cycle, but I just didn't believe it was true! Songs stick with me and seem to define moments for me. Christy Nockels', "Song of the Beautiful" was playing when I saw the result. Last time it was "You Revive Me". It is amazing how perfect these songs are for the emotions that I felt both times.

Instead of taking a shower and getting ready for work like normal, I got in the bathtub with my Bible and had a solid hour of prayer. Then I went and snuck into the "nursery" set the positive test in there and put our stork on our Happy Everything plate. I left the light on in the room and then started putting on my makeup. When Matt woke up he saw that there was a light on across the house and asked me if I turned it on. I purposefully didn't answer him. :) He walked in there and got to be a little surprised! He immediately wanted to pray for our baby! We were so excited! I don't know how I got through work that day!

When I got home from work that day Matt had a suprise of his own for me. He bought an acorn necklace made from an acorn and a pearl for me. An acorn means patience and pearl is June's birthstone. It was the perfect gift...so much meaning behind it. Baby Whelan also attended his or her very first Jacket game that night and got its first jersey or cheerleading uniform! :) We were secretly celebrating that night!

It is amazing how God's timing is always perfect. Always.

VC, RNR, and 30 candles!!

Thank y'all so much for your sweet comments! We are thrilled and I have lots of posts to add on here about finding out, appointments, and a whole lot more. I am now officially on Christmas break and I tell you, December has been busy! So I am officially playing catch up...starting now!!

Victorian Christmas! We went on Thursday and Friday night! Matt's dad and Ellen came over on Thursday night. We ate dinner at Moonspin to celebrate my birthday a little bit early, then walked downtown. It was FREEZING!

Friday night Carrie Beth and Jennifer came. We ate our traditional fried oreo, bought matching scarves, and just enjoyed the atmosphere! Friday night was especially fun because I met Ashley, who reads this blog, got to tell Carmen that I was pregnant (her reaction was priceless), and ran into one of my best friends growing up!

We came home and talked for a long while. Everyone fell asleep but me...I was wide awake. :)

Saturday I was up at the crack of dawn to help with the JSL's red nose run. It is a really fun event to be a part of!

After lunch, Bridgett arrived and we watched the second half of the Blazer game! Yay!!! VSU are the National Champs!!

Saturday evening Matt went to our SS Christmas party while I ate at Olive Garden with the girls!

Sunday we relaxed and shopped. We had my birthday cake around 10pm...we were so stuffed after every meal all weekend that we put off eating cake. Our neighbors dropped off my gift so they stayed and had cake with us! It was perfect timing!

I'm actually excited about being 30. I'm excited to become a mommy and mother my children in my 30's!! However, I can look back at my 20's with joy and think of college, grad school, becoming an established teacher and member of the community in our church and JSL. I also think about all the fun things that Matt and I experienced and all the places that we went. We had lots of time to just be us and spend time together and I think that our marriage is so strong because of that time!