Reality

Well it's definitely a Monday! And I am struggling...big time. Reality is starting to sink in about my summer vacation. First of all, I am sick (I feel horrible luckily my sweet husband ran to CVS to get me some medicine) and I have so much work to complete this week that my head is spinning. The last few weeks have been a whirlwind...VBS, workshops, lots of fun at the pool with my girls, and lots of quality time with my hubby. Now, here I am.

I am about halfway through my graudate program in reading education. Lets just say I have a love/hate relationship with it. :) I am learning a lot, I have really great professors (one that has a become a good friend who we frequently lunch with), I use everything in my classroom and that benefits my students greatly, and best of all I have gotten to know some amazing women. It's just that it is a really hard, time-consuming program. I have to sacrifice a lot in order to get ahead and see an increase in my pay each month. I think I am just exhausted..mentally. It always takes me awhile to get back into the swing of things each semester. I have to get used to driving to Valdosta several times a week after working all day and not seeing Matt at all. I have to get used to using every spare moment that I have, working on posts and assignments. I have to bring my books to restaurants, friends houses, and even church. Sometimes I feel like all I do is work. I often ask Matt, "Is it worth it?" Well, the Lord answered me today. Today has been painful, lonely, and draining.

BUT God's word reminds me that...Affliction produces endurance, endurance produces proven character, and proven character produces hope. Romans 5:3-4.

I am reminded of my girls. In my classes all of the girls have families, have husbands, drive from surrounding counties, balance crazy teaching schedules, 20 students, massive amounts of homework, church activities, and illness too. We all support each other, we pray for each other. Funny thing, so many of the women in our classes are really strong Christians. It is really a blessing for me to get to learn with and get ideas from such incredible teachers. God helped me choose my program for a reason. I was really leaning toward ECE, but didn't go that way. I am excited to see my friends each week. The Lord knew what He was doing when he had Carrie randomly call me and say that she was going back to school for reading, and that Betsy (a fellow church member and new mother) is in all my classes. It's funny that Michelle Parkerson ended up being in my classes after I asked her about grad school advice. Lana, Ansley...the list goes on and on. I began realizing how special our program was last Thursday after our first day of class. We all sacrificed our time to go see Aladdin at VSU's theatre together. Not many adults will do that. It was great and we loved it. Time's spent like that really strengthen a group. I think of going to lunch with Dr. Dixey, Carrie, and Bridgett after class. And our plans for time with Lana, Ansley, and Dottie tomorrow. These are some of my best friends that God brought into my life. I wouldn't get these opportunities without His guidance and gifts.

God is really so faithful to my needs and desires. The desire to have all sorts of friendships with women of different ages and backgrounds. The Lord helps me get through each semester, no matter how difficult or impossible I feel like it is. He never lets me down. He only amazes me about his great and mighty plans for my life and career. I am proud of having a 4.0 in my challenging program, but I give God all the glory. The harships and sacrifices that I am making are helping me to produce endurance and character, and because of God's infinite wisdom I have hope. When I cast my fears and anxiety to the Lord, He will help my plans succeed and I am so thankful.

Now..I feel much better. The Lord's words are truly sweet to my soul. I have the strength to focus on Assessment and Instruction of Reading and Writing Difficulties :) Chapter 2 here I come!

One more thing that I fogot to add is that this summer we will be tutoring a child and assessing and correcting their reading difficulties. We picked our stations/rooms on Thursday. Carrie Beth, Bridgett, Betsy, and I chose a room together. There are four stations, lots of shelves, and white boards in our room. I am thrilled that the four of us will be working together with our students. We should have the best room. I can't wait to start decorating and brighten it up. Michelle is in a room by herself, but it is close to us. Hopefully, our observations won't be quite as stressful since we are working in such close quarters. :) I have already started praying for my student. Hopefully I can be a friend to he or she, and we can fix those reading difficulties :)

Ok, ok...I'm going to study for my quiz.