Bursting!!!

11-8-12. My heart is just bursting with joy as I am sitting down to write this. And I want to cry so bad...happy tears that is!

I had my second Dr's apointment today with my precious Dr. who is is by far the best one ever. She's amazing. I was so nervous...just because of my history, but love getting to catch up with her. She was seriusly cracking me up (trying to make me feel comfortable) and I love her for that! She thought it would be too early to hear the heartbeat on the dopplar, but wanted to try anyway. She kept reminding me that she rarely hears it that early and not to worry. I was SO calm. She thought she could faintly hear it, but wouldn't say for sure. She asked me if I would worry if we didn't do an ultrasound. Then before I could answer, she said, yes, you will and I will too. Let me squeeze you in right now. A minute later she was like ok...come now, but it's with the tech you don't like. Haha! She knows me too well!

So, it was completely spur of the moment, but I got to hear our baby's heartbeat. The heart rate was 177 this time. I could really tell how much it had grown in only 2 weeks. So amazing! Unfortunately, that tech really doesn't print you pictures. :( But the image is etched in my brain!!

I am sad that I will have to wait a little over 3 weeks until the next one! But I am so thankful for how pro-active they are at Shaw!! I've very thankful.

A surprising phone call!

10-25-12. I was at work just going about my business when my Dr's care coordinater called me and said that my bloodwork was looking great and everything was doubling as it should, so Dr. McCollum wanted me to have an ultrasound immediately. At first I was taken over with fear. This is what I thought, "Immediately...that seems like a scary word. What is wrong?" But then, she assured me that they just wanted to give me an early ultrasound and then another one in two weeks, then three...and so on. I was so thankful and excited because I didn't think I was going to have one until almost 9 weeks because that was the first "scheduled" appointment I had with my Dr. So, the phone call was a little blessing. Although leading up to the actual first ultrasound I experienced some pretty terrifing thoughts and my emotions were all over the place. It would be the first time I had an ultrasound since there was no heartbeat last May. I didn't want to go back in the room without my Dr. with me. I wanted Matt to come to hear our baby's heart beat IF everything was ok. I didn't want him to come just in case everything wasn't ok. I am so much stronger without him there. I can pretty much hold myself together if Matt or Dr. McCollum aren't around. I was excited too though! And hopeful! Just scared out of my mind. You can see...I went back and forth right up until I walked in. I was extremely blessed by 4 friends that knew that I was pregnant for sending me messages at the exact moment that I was driving up to my appointment. Seriously. They were messages of comfort, prayer, and encouraging words. Those words really lifted me up in that moment.

My appointment was after school and Matt met me at the office. He wasn't going to let me talk him out of missing my appointment. Y'all we had the sweetest tech. One that I never had last time...which was a relief. She was really great and so thoughtful. We heard that glorious sound...the best one in the world. Our baby's heart beating strong for so early. I was 6 weeks and the heart rate was 137. She wrote different sayings on the pictures and printed us out different ones. She was just so informative and really changed my ultrasound experience because of her sweet personality, thorough explanations about everything, and kind heart. We were both pleased!

We were so grateful that our baby was growing well so far. We had to stay in the little ultrasound room for a little and bit and get ourselves together. For me I had to wipe the tears away, and Matt had to wipe the grin off of his face. Haha! We knew we would most likely see some people that we knew in the waiting room and we were still keeping our news a secret! What a sweet memory!

It's confirmed!!!

10-11-12. It is such a happy day! I got up early and had on my "appointment dress", I was excited, yet a little bit nervous about my appointment at the Shaw Center. It was just my initial visit, so I knew that would involve bloodwork and a meeting with a "new OB" nurse. I didn't even know what nurse I would see. I hoped that I would see Dr. McCollum, because I couldn't wait to tell her the news! I also didn't expect to, since it wasn't a scheduled Dr's visit. I am proud at how patient I've been, since I've known for over a week.

We started with bloodwork to confirm the pregnancy. It was a totally different experience than last time. In March, they got blood relatively easily, my due date was confirmed, and I got to keep the test. Not this time. I have the worst veins. I specifically drank two glasses of water before I went, but obviously that didn't do anything. I got stuck about 6 times. All OVER. I think 5 different nurses tried to get my blood. I kept saying, "please just get some" over and over. Ha! I wanted a confirmation!

Finally, we got enough blood to do a pregnancy test, but nothing else. I was told to wait outside the lab and Ashley would come and get me if I was pregnant. No pressure. :) A nurse that had seen me several times around my miscarriage walked by and was sooo sweet. She asked if a congratulations was in order? I told her "hopefully"!! A minute later, Ashley came out and got me and took me to her office! Several nurses that have been with me down this pretty long road started cheering in the hallway and saying "congrats"! It was an amazing feeling to know how much support I have at Shaw. :) It took all I had to hold back the tears!

We met for awhile and went over everything. It was a little strange that this is considered my second pregnancy, but I don't have a baby from the first one. I got lots of goodies and asked all the questions that I had...mainly ones about the flu shot and a Rhogam shot. Ashley went to schedule my next appointment and first ultrasound (they want to do one as early as they can because of my history) with Dr. McCollum. She came back in and said that she had a surprise for me. MY PRECIOUS Doctor! She heard the news through the grapevine and HAD to come down and see me! After hugs, congrats, and tears she began treating me like her patient. :) She ordered MORE BLOODWORK to test my progesterone, just in case. And a few other precautions. I am beyond thankful.

So, back to the lab I went. 3 or 4 more tries and no blood later, we determined that I was dehydrated. I have another appointment tomorrow. I was at Shaw for almost 2 and 1/2 hours. Haha! A few nurses came by and couldn't believe I was still there! Another nurse came in and asked my due date....which by the way is JUNE 12th!!!! I am 5 weeks and 1 day today. So many caring, kind, Shaw staff told me that they were excited for me, etc. It was hard for me to keep it together!

I got in my car, called Matt, and the floodgates opened! I am just so happy and thankful! I wished he was in town so we could have celebrated by going to lunch, but he was in Albany. However, we are most definitely celebrating when he gets home tonight! All for the Glory of God!!!

Update 10-12-12
I went back to Shaw bright and early the next morning and got stuck approximately 8 times. A lot of veins were re-stuck. I am not kidding when I say that EVERY single nurse in the entire practice tried to stick me. Finally, they had one really oooollldd lady in that only works on Friday's try. She slaps you really hard. They said if she couldn't get my blood, I was going to have to go to Archbold (the hospital) to the IV center. NO THANK YOU! I begged them to keep me at Shaw. I love the people at Shaw and feel completely comfortable there. Luckily, getting stuck doesn't bother me. I actually enjoy being there. Well, they finally got just barely enough. And I was told that I would need to come back every 2 to 3 days to check my quant and progesterone. My arms ended up being very bruised up all up and down them for the month of October. :) But it was totally worth it!! This picture was taken after my last time having to get blood drawn! I was a happy girl and my bruises were all about faded!

Finding Out...

We found out our news for sure on Friday, October 5th!!!!

But first I want to share a little bit of background information...

January 25, 2013. My big appointment was scheduled in July for January 25, 2013. At that appointment we would begin fertility treatments. IUI was first on the list. It was all set up. Time for my body to heal, time for my mind to prepare for what we would endure. (And my Dr. will tell you, even though we struggled to get pregnant, every test done came back fine, and my fertility monitor proved that my hormones and cycle lengths were just as they should be...so she still thought that it could happen for us without treatment. She actually really believed it would. I just didn't know what to think. All I could do was pray.) I was fine waiting for this short time. It seemed like nothing compared to the past year or two, and I was just thankful to have a new plan. I looked at the time as a time for us to grow spiritually and a time to do some things that we coudn't do if we had a baby. We took two beach trips during this time. :)

In early September, at a Women's retreat, I realized that I needed to surrender having a baby completely. I had before, but I just felt led to do it again, right then, because it was such a daily struggle for me. I felt such a peace afterwards. But then lo and behold about 3 weeks later random people at work started coming up to me and asking "Have you been back to the Dr? When is your next appointment? Can you go back sooner?" I felt kind of pressured and then one night didn't feel good about waiting anymore. I wanted to call Dr. McCollum up that instant and beg her to move up my appointment to October. Luckily, I talked some sense into myself and felt God's peace again...about our decision and about waiting.

10-3-12. The very next day I decided to take a pregnancy test (a cheap one at night). The odds were already against me...but that is what I do. I really used to be addicted to taking pregnancy tests. I would take two a day for weeks. We spent a lot of money on them and eventually switched to Dollar Store brand. I got better the second time around and I wasn't as obsessive. Until 10-3-12 when I couldn't wait until the morning to get a more accurate reading. I sort of thought I saw a shadow of a line. I brought the test to Matt and we analyzed it (so much for a big surprise this time...I just needed another pair of eyes to look with me). We felt a tiny bit of joy, but really just figured we weren't seeing anything. I think we were both trying not to get our hopes up. I also had some digital tests at home, but refused to take one yet. I didn't want to see "not pregnant" again.

10-4-12. I took a test both morning and night. The lines didn't really seem to be getting any darker, but I still thought I sort of saw something each time. It was killing Matt that I still wouldn't take a better test.

10-5-12. I woke up at 5:00am and was ready to take a "real" test. The house was pitch black and Matt was still asleep. I took the test, and just waited for it to change. In the past I would always set it down, go about getting ready, and then check back eventually because it was always...always negative. I think my heart stopped when the words PREGNANT showed up! It is strange how calm I felt this time. I knew that everything "seemed" perfect this cycle, but I just didn't believe it was true! Songs stick with me and seem to define moments for me. Christy Nockels', "Song of the Beautiful" was playing when I saw the result. Last time it was "You Revive Me". It is amazing how perfect these songs are for the emotions that I felt both times.

Instead of taking a shower and getting ready for work like normal, I got in the bathtub with my Bible and had a solid hour of prayer. Then I went and snuck into the "nursery" set the positive test in there and put our stork on our Happy Everything plate. I left the light on in the room and then started putting on my makeup. When Matt woke up he saw that there was a light on across the house and asked me if I turned it on. I purposefully didn't answer him. :) He walked in there and got to be a little surprised! He immediately wanted to pray for our baby! We were so excited! I don't know how I got through work that day!

When I got home from work that day Matt had a suprise of his own for me. He bought an acorn necklace made from an acorn and a pearl for me. An acorn means patience and pearl is June's birthstone. It was the perfect gift...so much meaning behind it. Baby Whelan also attended his or her very first Jacket game that night and got its first jersey or cheerleading uniform! :) We were secretly celebrating that night!

It is amazing how God's timing is always perfect. Always.

VC, RNR, and 30 candles!!

Thank y'all so much for your sweet comments! We are thrilled and I have lots of posts to add on here about finding out, appointments, and a whole lot more. I am now officially on Christmas break and I tell you, December has been busy! So I am officially playing catch up...starting now!!

Victorian Christmas! We went on Thursday and Friday night! Matt's dad and Ellen came over on Thursday night. We ate dinner at Moonspin to celebrate my birthday a little bit early, then walked downtown. It was FREEZING!

Friday night Carrie Beth and Jennifer came. We ate our traditional fried oreo, bought matching scarves, and just enjoyed the atmosphere! Friday night was especially fun because I met Ashley, who reads this blog, got to tell Carmen that I was pregnant (her reaction was priceless), and ran into one of my best friends growing up!

We came home and talked for a long while. Everyone fell asleep but me...I was wide awake. :)

Saturday I was up at the crack of dawn to help with the JSL's red nose run. It is a really fun event to be a part of!

After lunch, Bridgett arrived and we watched the second half of the Blazer game! Yay!!! VSU are the National Champs!!

Saturday evening Matt went to our SS Christmas party while I ate at Olive Garden with the girls!

Sunday we relaxed and shopped. We had my birthday cake around 10pm...we were so stuffed after every meal all weekend that we put off eating cake. Our neighbors dropped off my gift so they stayed and had cake with us! It was perfect timing!

I'm actually excited about being 30. I'm excited to become a mommy and mother my children in my 30's!! However, I can look back at my 20's with joy and think of college, grad school, becoming an established teacher and member of the community in our church and JSL. I also think about all the fun things that Matt and I experienced and all the places that we went. We had lots of time to just be us and spend time together and I think that our marriage is so strong because of that time!

Answered Prayers!!!

We are SO grateful to finally announce our great news! God is faithful and we are overjoyed!!! Baby Whelan is due 6/12/13!!!!

A PS3 Date and a Christmas Party!

We went on a little PS3 (we nicknamed the section of our neighborhood) date last night in Tallahassee. We went to a fun Japanese restaurant and the food was good!

Afterwards we rode around and looked at Christmas lights! Our house is right in the middle of two awesome couples houses. I love having friend neighbors! :)

Today I felt like Santa going to my JSL Christmas Party. I had drinks, cookies, gifts, envelopes, checks...you name it, and it was in my bag! I did enjoy catching up with some friends that I haven't seen in a while. I got a kick out of the cocktail napkins too!