Happies!

I ordered my Erin Condren life planner today. I narrowed it down to 5, then 3, and finally made my decision. Thanks to the help of my hubby, mama, and two sweet friends! Who knew it could be so hard to decide on a pattern?

I love the new topic on shereadstruth.com. It is on prayer. I am actually in the process of making a little prayer board!

Carrie Beth has inspired me. I love patterns and fabric as much as she does and while I'm not looking to change the whole look of my living room right now, I am going to give our bonus room a little makeover. Mama, bring your sewing machine when you come visit...we're going to be busy! :)

I am in need of a new Happy Everything attachment that will take me into the Fall season. I may just have to visit the Coton Colors store tomorrow. I like the sun a lot.

Do you know how much I love this little furry bundle of sweetness? She's incredibly loyal and perfect. My little shadow makes me so happy!

I finished KK's last Baxter book, Coming Home. What a tear jerker! I'm sad it's finally over. Matt still doesn't get why I'm so attached to them. I keep trying to tell him that the Baxter family is real. :)

I'm loving this song today. Hillsong's new album, Cornerstone, is amazing.


I have a billion chores to do before Matt gets home from work today! Starting now...

Matthew 6:6
Here's what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won't be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace.

She Reads Truth: Living the Surrendered Life

After my soul detox I truly started to heal I think. Christy Nockels' album Into the Glorious is what I played on replay. And am still listening to all the time. The words in her songs are about growing, healing, being loved by Him, inviting God into the everyday mundane things, telling God how much He means to us, singing for brokenness in the world, and my favorite lately, that God is already all that I need. Yes, she is my favorite singer, but if you only knew the background of her album and songs you would realize what a special worship leader she is. She prayed for the people that would hear these songs as she was writing them. She wanted them to touch, heal, encourage....and they have done just that for me. She said that she couldn't even get through recording them without having to stop and weep and pray. Did you know that her and Nathan had two miscarriages? Just another reason I think I can relate to her. I am just thankful that this album was released at the perfect time to help me! I felt ready to start going through the process of being reminded how to live a surrendered life again.

The first day of Livng the Surrendered life was about worry. I get it honestely, but worry is a big battle of mine. I can get consumed by fear and worry pretty quickly. Worrying boils down to not trusting God. I realized that I really needed to work on that.

Disappointment and rejection were discussed. I loved this, "If our dreams have not consulted God, then they often lack vision and purpose toward a higher goal."
Proverbs 3:5-12
Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
he's the one who will keep you on track.
Don't assume that you know it all.
Run to God! Run from evil!
Your body will glow with health,
your very bones will vibrate with life!
Honor God with everything you own;
give him the first and the best.
Your barns will burst,
your wine vats will brim over.
But don't, dear friend, resent God's discipline;
don't sulk under his loving correction.
It's the child he loves that God corrects;
a father's delight is behind all this.

Gratitude and contentement. We can choose to be grateful or not. I find myself struggling with that often. I was always thinking about the next stage in life or our next move, etc. I've recently really been able to stop myself and choose to be grateful. I have so many blessings in my life. I've also been able to enjoy the season of life that I am in and look back at how far I've come. I don't want to wish away my days-always looking to the next thing.

Prayer. I've never been a prayer warrior, but I've always wanted to be. I want God to make me a person of prayer.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live.

Patience. This day might have hit me the hardest. I thought this often, "What is God going to reveal to me in this time of waiting? What kind of life lessons will I learn in this season of waiting?" I loved this: "It's in those days, months, and years of waiting where we start to look a lot more like Christ." AMEN

Some questions for thought (they made me think for sure): Why is it so hard to stop complaining during the waiting? Are you in a waiting room right now? How well are you waiting on God? What do you want me to learn?
Romans 12:11-13
Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality.

Ezekiel 36:26
And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.

Overall, I've been learning that my identity is in Christ, NOT what I do or how good I am at things. Y'all know me, I am always on the go. I have something that I'm involved in every single night of the week during the school year, and a lot of times that isn't enough, I'm still looking for more ways to serve or occupy my time. Staying busy has always helped me cope. I don't have any time to think, if I never stop. I've found some areas in my life that I was trying to hold on to, I wanted to surrender them, but I just wasn't. All I want is to live a surrendered life. Right now, that is going to take me getting on my knees (or flat on my face like Beth Moore) and surrendering my dreams, desires, and just everyday little things in life to Him. Over and over. That's where I'm at right now.

She Reads Truth: Soul Detox

I'm excited to begin a new plan with She Reads Truth tomorrow. I'm sure it will be awesome! I love having it as another tool to study with in the Summertime. I am just about finished with the book, Choose Joy. I have 3 other books/studies on my list and hope to purchase them soon. They are God Loves Ugly by Krista Black, What Women Fear by Angie Smith, and Kelly Minter's Nehemiah. I still have around two months to finish those, as our Fall Bible Study won't start up until mid-September. Anyway, She Reads Truth has been a great addition to my regular Bible reading and my longtime favorite, Jesus Calling.

I started with Soul Detox and basically zipped right through it. I didn't understand why I was going through it so fast, because I had a friend that was really dwelling on it, and I felt like I should've been too. In the meantime, I also started Living the Surrendered Life and felt like it was written just for me. Then, I started to understand. This may sound completely crazy to you. But I feel like my miscarriage was like a "soul detox" for my life. When I found out that I was pregnant I felt the most joy that I have ever felt. I truly felt revived and like the Lord was refreshing my spirit after struggling and doubting for so long. It was a great couple of months full of blessing after blessing. I kind of went through my miscarriage and D & C numb, although I didn't know it at the time. Everyone thought I was so strong, and handling everything so well. I EVEN thought so, but I just didn't know that I really wasn't handling it at all. I had so much to do and so much to get done, that I just pushed right through and thanked the Lord for helping me keep it together throughout everything. I couldn't have done it without Him, that is for sure.

However, when I started to slow down...because I 100% believed that the Lord was telling me that this summer needed to be a season of rest for my soul and body, that I began grieving I guess you can say. In that sense, this Summer really hasn't been fun. It's been hard. I was talking to one of my friends about my feelings and I asked her, "Is resting supposed to be painful? Because it is." I told her how bored I was and how I was trying to fill up my time by reading, checking Facebook, etc. and couldn't focus on any of it. And yes, it distracted me from the "pain" for a minute, but then I was left feeling the same way. On the days when I did realize what I was doing and stopped and prayed and asked the Lord to be my focus and help I felt so much better, not as empty and more content. Restful, not restless. (Sidenote: If you have not listened to Audrey Assad's newer album, Heart, you should. She sings songs that go right along with what I just wrote about.)

Back to Soul Detox. It focused a lot on toxic things, and toxic thoughts. Some toxic thoughts are ones that are negative, fearful, discounted, and critical. I promise you I had them all at the beginning of my summer. The plan suggested that you replace those thoughts with God's truth. That is exactly what I had to do and still have to do. Music is so powerful to me and although I love country music, literally all I ever listen to are my few Christian cd's that God put in my path. I love them. Tricia Brock's album was all I listened to throughout all of my tough appointments and even after coming home from the hospital. I bought the cd a week before my ultrasound appointment, just because. It is lifechanging. I didn't even KNOW that I knew the lyrics, but as I was sitting in an exam room waiting on Dr. McCollum to tell me what our next step would be, this was going through my head...
From silent rooms and heavy hearts
From city streets where all is dark
Each lifted cry our sin and want
You hear, oh You hear

From burdens weighty with regret
And sorrows we can not forget
You turn our tears to holiness
When You hear, oh You hear

Then when I was at the hospital a song that both she and Kristian Stanfill sing repeated on my brain until I was asleep...
Struggle surrounds me, chaos abounding
My soul will rest in You
I will not fear the war
I will not fear the storm
My help is on the way
My help is on the way

Oh my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always
I will not fear, His promise is true
My God will come through always
Always

I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord
I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord
I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord
I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord
From You Lord, From You Lord, From You Lord

When I got home from the hospital and then a few days later....I sat in the shower for hours and these words were what held me up...
I will trust and obey more and more each day
As You take Your place in me
And should I ever fail or stumble in the way
You will help me to my feet

When it gets hard You go before me as a shield
When its too late, You come behind me and You heal
Should my heart break when loves the only way
So be it Lord, may I be broken for love's sake

I was never angry at the Lord, I immediately knew that now I could help others who go through this, because I've been through it and know how hard it is. I knew that that was the beauty out of the process, and I think there is more beauty from it, I'm just slowly starting to see it.

I do know that I couldn't stand a second without having these powerful lyrics sung over me, or without reading His word, and clinging to His promises. So, without knowing it, I was replacing toxic thoughts and feelings with God's truth. I was getting a a soul detox if you will. And somehow I have become a little bit of a different person. I am changed because of what I went through. I've made some new choices. I was openly broken, and I'm stronger because of it. I am still scarred and there are times when I am still sad, devastated, and way more passionate and emotional about things than I should be. However. I'm choosing to believe this in those times. His plan is greater than any plan I could imagine. He is my hope.

Psalm 27:14
The Lord is the stronghold of my life. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart; wait for the Lord.

Random Productivity

I really feel like my summer is winding down and I'm desperate to go back to school with a clean and organized home/life. Is that possible? I'm not sure yet, but I've been tackling lots of little projects each day.

I finished our pantry and one of our guest room closets this week. Matt is really good at keeping cards and sentimental items together. As a matter a fact I found tons of notes and cards that he saved from when we were dating and other fun college memories. He even had some of my stuff saved. I found birthday cards from us turning 20 and 21 years old, verses, encouragrams (for any VSU BSU people), and pictures that made me laugh...especially this one of us at a Fall retreat at camp Suwannee.

I LIVED at our country club growing up, swam on the swim team there, played in tennis tournaments, coached tennis camps, etc. Then eventually became a lifeguard there and coached the swim team. As a matter of fact, where was I the day before I got married? Relaxing at the DCC pool....my happy place! Heck, we even had our wedding reception there! Looks like I saved a cup...random I know. Nothing was better than a diet coke in one of their styrofoam cups. :)

Matt's precious mother, Mrs. Debbie, designed these notepads for me for my 20th birthday. Me playing soccer, with my favorite number (4) on my jersey. So special!!

I didn't even know that this was saved. I remember saying that I liked it when looking through one of my roommates wedding magazines in college. It looks pretty familiar. :)

I really HAVE to get better at saving things and keeping important cards, letters, newspaper articles together in a safe place. So I'm starting, NOW.

With the Junior Service League year starting up really soon, I wanted to have the Preview Party notebook ready to hand of to this years' chair. I have notes, sign-up sheets, menus, flyers, budget and decorating info, and helpful tips for the next person that has to plan the event. I am thankful to check this off of my to-do list.

Matt does a little "ballet dance" to the theme song of Pretty Little Liars. Every time it comes on, because he knows it annoys me. I caught him doing it tonight and decided to share it!! Hahaha!

I listened to the latest Catalyst Podcast this afternoon with Christy Nockels and it was sooo good. It is kind of long, but I just listened while I worked. :) I was very encouraged.

Psalm 37:3-6
Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Take delight in the Lord,and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your justice like the noonday sun.

Summer lovin'

We've been enjoying the simplist, but best kind of summer days in my opinion. We are not used to being home for an extended period of time. We are always on the go.

Friday night we went to Valdosta and had a fun evening with the seasons and frusbands. :) We went to Turner's fine furniture, made a quick stop at TJ Maxx, ate dinner at Roadhouse, browsed Target for a pretty long while, then ended up at Starbucks until close to midnight.

Saturday we spent most of the day organizing our garage for the millionth and hopefully last time. It is just hard not having a lot of attic space.

The Jense's swapped lawn mowers with us for the day. Becky needed our push mower for the corners of her yard, so she drove their riding one down to us for Matt to use. Obviously, we both had super high grass thanks to lots of rain and us both being out of town on vacation. She threatened that this picture better not show up anywhere..haha! Oops!

Blakely stayed cool while we were working in the garage. My dog, Ginger, used to do the same thing. :)

We also caught up on Pretty Little Liars and I am already looking forward to watching it on Tuesday night. I do miss getting to watch marathons of it with no commercials though.

Our Sunday looked like this: church, yardwork, Lowes, church, long neighborhood walk. Perfection!

We picked up our new church directory yesterday. I've written about my love for a church directory before. I am obsessed and look at it often, especially after I meet someone new or someone mentions an unfamiliar name to me. It is a great resource!!! :)

Nanny Jane's favorite flower was an orchid. My grandpa, mom, and aunts all have orchids and I wanted one too. I love it! I just hope that I can keep it alive. We'll see.

I went to the farmers market this morning. We already had plenty of vidalia onions and bell peppers at home, so I just picked up a few things. Yum!

I recently finished both of my Bible reading plans from She Reads Truth. I loved living the surrendered life and I have pages of notes that I need to transfer over to the blog. I was very encouraged and finished early because I just felt like I couldn't get enough of it. That's a great feeling.

Psalm 43:4
There I will go to the altar of God, to God—the source of all my joy.

Christmas in July

Well, it started with Easter in July at Passion City Church. I was dead set on going...I just wasn't planning on it being today, I thought it was going to be near the end of July. I just knew in my heart that Christy Nockels would be leading worship and I was SO EXCITED! Last night I found out for sure that she would be leading worship. I was crushed because it would be crazy for us to drive all the way to Atlanta for the day...but I still wanted to go.

Late last night I was looking up Passion City Church videos on Youtube to get my fill, when I stumbled across this gem! Christy reading some scripture and Chris Tomlin singing Joy to the World (Unspeakable Joy), one of my favorites. It made me very happy!


Surprisingly, this is not the first time in July that I've listened to Christmas music. Last week, I was painting in the kitchen and music playing from my iTunes on the computer. Whatever I was listening to ended and switched to a Christmas album. It actually motivated me and put me in a better mood. :)

I will also say that I went to church with swollen eyes today from crying. I was praying that I would feel content at my own church, etc, and very excited about being in town for the weekend and getting to worship with our own church family. Then I checked Twitter and saw a picture that Kristian Stanfill posted. A picture of Christy Nockels warming up and a caption saying that you don't want to miss this. It looked to me like she was going to be singing a solo. I held the phone over the glass shower so Matt could see (while he was showering) and cried, "Please take me to PCC for the 4:00 service, I have to be there." Well, you can see how well that went over. We ended up going to our own church, and it was great. The message was perfect and exactly what I needed to hear. Y'all pray for Matt, so that he can continue to put up with his crazy wife! :)

I hope that everyone is having a blessed Sunday!

I've been busy...

working on little house projects that have been FREE to complete! Aren't those the best kind?

I guess I am officially on a chalkboard kick. I painted over an ugly picture that I had stored away in a closet to make this first chalkboard. I didn't like the frame either so I painted it white and then Matt distressed it. We are working on a little side table to match that we've had in our garage for two years. We bought it for a steal at Bargain Bazaar. I love how this turned out.

I got this idea from Pinterest. I fell in love with it because "It is well with my soul" is probably my favorite hymn or at least one of them. I especially love when Selah sings it. :) Matt might kill me for sharing this, but he actually painted one and I did the other. We wanted it to have meaning and it was really fun crafting together for once. Haha!!

I also had this little frame and printed out a special verse to go in it. The frame has a hint of light blue in it, and I love it! All of these projects were for the same room.

I love gold framed chalkboards, just ask my Mama. :) I think they're the best! So when I found this frame on clearance at Hobby Lobby I had to get it. I knew it would eventually become a chalkboard. I had some cardboard that fit perfectly so that became the chalkboard. We hung it in our kitchen and I am going to write the VSU football schedule on it. I saw that idea on Pinterest as well. You could also write a menu on it, or a cute saying for the season that you're in. I am not talented at chalkboard art and I don't like writing with chalk. I prefer the chalkboard pens...but they can be hard to remove, so I'll just stick with my plain writing for now. Does anybody know if they sell chalk that has a point?

I rearranged some frames and a letter W that I took off of a wall.

I moved all my perfume onto an old cakestand that I got at Freckled Frog in Dublin before we got married.

I also framed our Charleston print and our wedding invitation.

I still have several things that I'm working on. I also have a long list of school related things I want to complete, so I have them organized in two baskets. I find that I always use my stairs to store things. I need to break that habit!

I hope everyone has a great weekend! We are starting ours off by eating dinner with a group of our best friends that we haven't seen in over a month! I can hardly wait!!!